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May

Advice for young teens

By JSwan 3 Comments

Categories: life, school, education, children, teachers, kids, abuse, parenting, child and teacher

My best friend’s 13 year old sister and I sometimes talk on MySpace. Generally she asks my advice because I like to give her real strategies that she can use immediately.

This advice typically comes in the form of “what I wish I would have said” when I was her age and experiencing similar predicaments. At age 13, it is easy to get frustrated by the inability to articulate what you feel; so I try to give her the words she is lacking.

This is proving surprisingly effective, enabling her to develop her own set of surprisingly effective strategies completely on her own. Over time her emails have shifted to requests for advice to stories of how she has gracefully handled a situation. I’m proud of her.

The following text is by far my single favorite example of our exchanges:

Her: im bored i have like nothing to do cuz i got in trouble and now im grounded!!! lol oops

Me: What’d you do?

Her: i got in trouble at skool from my 1st period teacher cause i had my cell phone out! the teacher said bring ur cell phone over here and give it to me. i said why and shes like dont question me bring it here now!!! so i brang it over there and i layed it in her hand and then she said owww you hurt me im gonna press charges!

she’s always lyng on me!! i went back to my seat and i was talking to my friend and i was telling her how the teacher always lies on me and she must hate me and she wrote a referal saying that i used the f*** word whitch i didnt and she put down that i said that “she f***in hates me” and she saying bad stuff about me,and she wrote a referal that i slamed the phone in her hand and i didnt!!!!

wat do you think about it????? what am I supposed to do if the teachers just gonna lie??? yo my brother doesnt even kno yet!!!! lol but the skool took away my cell phone and the principal said we r allowed to hav a cell at skool if its turned off…… and it was off!!! but they still took it away and they havent gave it back yet!!!………..do you think thats fair?lol

Me: I hope you are not too young for this. Today, I will give you a secret weapon. It is really DANGEROUS if you use it incorrectly - so be careful, and be MATURE about it. Do NOT say these things unless your teacher REALLY is lying; otherwise she will make your life a living hell.

If you do not understand why this secret weapon works: DO NOT USE IT. Just keep this message and re-read it every few months until you do understand why it will work. ONLY THEN should you use it.

Understand?

OK, here’s the secret:

Next time you get into trouble (with a teacher, the police, or anyone in authority) for something you didn’t do, say things like this to them and to their superior (like the principal) when you’re all together and talking about what you’re in trouble for.

You must NOT say these things as if you are angry, or vengeful, or proving a point. You MUST say them as if you are very disappointed, sad, and depressed - as if someone close to you has just died. The key is to be quiet and reserved - never raise your voice, not even a little bit, no matter how angry you are.

Like I said, be careful. Only do this when you know you’re right.

Here is what you can say:

“I come to school to learn. But I feel like what my teacher is really teaching me is that it’s ok to lie if you know that no one will believe the truth. I guess I just have to accept that.”

“I’m telling the truth and she’s not - and I know you will believe her and not me - and I don’t understand why she would do that ’cause I always thought the truth was better. Now I don’t know what to believe… or even who to believe in.”

“I won’t argue. I didn’t do it, my teacher is lying but I know you won’t believe me. Go ahead and punish me. I know I must have done something wrong, but I don’t know what it really was. I wish I did though. I wish someone would tell me. There’s got to be a reason for this.”

“I just feel so sad about this. If I did something wrong, I would apologize for it. But I’m in trouble for something I didn’t do, and you won’t believe me. I don’t know why you won’t believe me, but whatever I’ve done to lose your trust: I apologize. I’m really sorry and I hope you will forgive me.”

“I know kids my age lie, and it’s hard to believe us. I understand that. It’s just… how are we supposed to know any better when our teachers lie too? Aren’t we here to learn from our teachers? I don’t expect you to believe me - but I know my teacher is lying. Go ahead and punish me, I don’t care because I know you believe her and not me. Just PLEASE tell me; what am I supposed to learn from this?”

Feel free to ask questions.

A few weeks went by before she got into trouble again. This time, however, she was prepared. When she went to the Principal’s office with her teacher, she expressed her disillusionment with precision and clarity. When she was finished speaking, she said that her teacher and the principal were quiet for a long time. The principal then asked her to leave the room. Five minutes later, they called her back in. Her teacher admitted to lying and offered her a full, written apology.

She hasn’t been in trouble since.

Apr

The Morning Coffee Ritual

By JSwan 7 Comments

Categories: life

Gulp! Every Monday through Friday I wake up at 6:30, 6:38, and again at 6:46, thanks to the snooze-button. I then trudge out of bed, get ready for work, and then head into the office.

Once at the office I take a few minutes to check my email, then I get up do what gets me through the day: I get coffee. The coffee where I work is awful, nay, terrible! I mean it is just plain disgusting. It has a decade-old cardboard taste that no amount of cream and sugar can cover. To make things worse, it costs a dollar!

But it ain’t the coffee that drives me. It is the snooze-button effect that the ritual has on my day. To get to the coffee I must walk down three long hallways and two flights of stairs. When I arrive at the cafeteria, I get to chat mindlessly with the same three people that get coffee at the same time I do. Mostly we talk about how bad the coffee is.

Once I’ve shelled out my dollar, I don’t walk - or even stroll - back to my desk: I mosey. And I don’t take even a single sip of my coffee until I get back to my desk. That way I don’t waste it. Once I am back at my desk, I take sips each time I need a little break. The feel of the coffee moving down my throat, and even the awful taste, brings an exquisite feeling of relaxation and well being.

And when I’m finished with the coffee? A bathroom break, of course.

What is your morning coffee ritual?

Mar

The golden age of computer game packaging

By FraudWasteAbuse 29 Comments

Categories: technology, games, life, photos, photography, video games, nostalgia and computer games

Those of you who only started playing computer and video games in the late 1990s may wonder why anyone would write an article on computer game packaging. After all, today’s computer game boxes serve a largely utilitarian purpose of holding the game’s discs. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if 5 years from now computer games all come in cases similar to Playstation and Xbox games. I’ve seen several computer games come in packaging like this already. Many of today’s games don’t even come with a printed manual. You’re either left with an electronic copy or sometimes just an in-game tutorial.

It wasn’t always like this. In the early days of computer games, the design and contents of the computer game box was sometimes as important as the game itself. Box art was especially important. Publishers had to make the game look as exciting as possible to overcome the crude graphics. Many times a detailed manual was included, along with extra trinkets and foldouts.

I’ve saved every computer game I’ve ever owned. Below are some pictures of a few of my favorite games and some of the nifty items that came in their boxes.

Continue reading ‘The golden age of computer game packaging’

Mar

Geeks who go too far

By FraudWasteAbuse 4 Comments

Categories: technology, life, movies, geek, humor, entertainment, Star Wars, nerd, science fiction, Star Trek and Stargate

I’ve been a Star Wars fan as long as I can remember. While I was too young to have seen the original movies when they first were in theaters, I remember watching them on television when I was a kid. I also enjoy a few of the Star Wars game and I’ve even been know to occasionally look at the Unofficial Star Wars Encyclopedia when I’m bored. It doesn’t go much farther than that.

On the other hand, I am not much of a Star Trek fan. I enjoyed several of the movies, but I could never really get into the shows. The shows were too preachy, too predictable, and too full of technobabble. The Prime Directive was annoying and the idea of a utopian future Earth failed to suspend my disbelief.

This leads me into the subject of this post. On one of my previous entries I mentioned a newsgroup I used to read called alt.startrek.vs.starwars. As you could probably deduce from the group’s name, its purpose was to be a place where nerds could gather and debate over whose imaginary spaceships were better. Much of the discussion actually consisted of fan fiction in which posters would write stories set in the universe of Star Trek or Star Wars (or both!) and insert their online persona into the story. While reading some of the hilariously intense debates (aka flamewars) about works of fiction, I came across a few especially serious individuals and internet sites.

One particular real-life character of interest by the name of Wong seemed especially passionate about his love and analysis of Star Wars. Not only would he fiercely argue that Star Wars was clearly superior to Star Trek, he also enjoyed scientifically analyzing Star Trek and Star Wars technology. No detail of the movies was too trivial for a heated, emotional discussion. Wong had no qualms about insulting and putting down those who he felt didn’t have an effective scientific grasp of Star Wars or Star Trek. If you can imagine Richard Dawkins as a Star War fan then you’re beginning to get the idea. He even owns a website which contains much of his analysis. Take this example of his analysis of Star Trek: Insurrection:

Personal Cloaking Devices

Analysis

Much has been made of the personal cloaking devices which were seen in the opening sequence of STI. However, we can see in the film that they are actually not true cloaking devices. Instead, they are using some sort of large-scale hologram system, to create the illusion of invisibility. How do we arrive at this conclusion, which will undoubtedly be hotly contested? There are two critical pieces of substantiating evidence.

1. When the observation post’s camouflage hologram was disrupted by Data’s phaser fire, all of the operatives simultaneously became visible. This indicates that the invisibility of all operatives was dependent upon a central facility.

2. “Cloaked” operatives still cast shadows, as seen in the first screenshot below. This indicates that the objects are not truly invisible. If they were, they would not cast shadows, even when viewed using an advanced sensor system. One could always argue that the “cloaked” operatives are blocking something other than visible light (such as one of the Federation cultists’ never-ending new forms of technobabble subspace-related radiation), but the shadows are clearly being cast in the same direction as the shadows being cast by the buildings, plants, etc. They are therefore being caused by the blockage of light being emitted by that planet’s sun.

The funny thing about people like Wong is that they treat these movies like the directors and editors never make mistakes. Instead of merely accepting that there are shadows because the film makers goofed, he attempts to come up with some absurd technobabble explanation for it all. My favorite part of the quote is when he calls Star Trek fans ‘cultists’, completely ignoring his own fanatic behavior. There’s more great material at that site as well.

My personal favorite recurring debate is over whether or not Alderaan (you know, that planet that the Death Star blew up in the movie) had a planetary shield. Evidence for or against this theory consists of a few frames of film from the first Star Wars movie. But that doesn’t stop obsessed fans from writing huge treatises on the subject. The idea that George Lucas would put such minute details in a movie that, at the time, had no fan base is absurd.

Hopefully, the obsessions of others will become your entertainment.

Mar

I Think My Wife Is Cheating On Me: Why Men Are Never Published In Dear Abby

By FraudWasteAbuse 50 Comments

Categories: life, fun, humor, funny, Harley-Davidson, offbeat, affair and motorcycle

I read this here and I thought I would share it:

Dear Abby,

I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs… Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi?

I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Mar

Never do jury duty again

By FraudWasteAbuse 19 Comments

Categories: news, life, politics, law, legal, crime, court, civil rights, slavery, fascism, trial and jury duty

Most of us dread getting a jury summons in the mail. Many of us have to miss work or school and sit in a courthouse for hours, and in some cases days, for measly compensation, which most of the time is far below minimum wage.

Despite what a lot of people think, not registering to vote won’t prevent you from getting summoned. Most jurisdictions now use drivers license records in addition to voter rolls to create potential jury pools. It’s just a matter of time until you get that notice in the mail, and unless you are going to school or have some sort of serious medical problem, your chances of getting excused are slim. Fortunately, there are a few tried-and-true ways to get out of it.

The easiest way to avoid jury duty is to simply chuck the jury summons in the garbage and don’t show up. This might be unsettling to many people who may worry about getting into trouble with the law. The truth is that in most major cities, the no-show rate for jurors is around 50%. If they aren’t going to bother showing up, why should you? Most jurisdictions don’t have the time or the resources to track down everyone who has skipped out on jury duty. Besides, no one can prove that you ever received the summons unless it was sent by certified mail.

If you can’t bear the idea of ignoring a government order to serve at its whim, there is another sure-fire way to get out of jury duty. During voir dire you will likely be asked if you believe that you are able to make a ruling based on the what the law says and the evidence presented. Simply state that you believe no such thing and that every jury has the right to render a verdict how they see fit despite what the law says. This concept is called jury nullification, and mentioning it is a guaranteed ticket home.

You see, judges and lawyers don’t like it when jurists know about jury nullification. The legal concept of jury nullification gives a jury more power than anyone in the courtroom, including the judge. It gives the jury the power to protect the accused against unjust laws and governmental tyranny. For example, a man is on trial for soliciting a prostitute. The evidence has been presented and there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that the man is guilty. If the jury were to choose a verdict based the law, they would declare the man guilty. But if the jury felt that the laws criminalizing prostitution were unjust, jury nullification allows them to render a verdict of not guilty despite what the law says.

Of course, you may not even get that far in the jury selection. If you happen to be a doctor, attorney, or someone who seems reasonably intelligent, you are likely to be dismissed. Trial lawyers tend to want morons on the jury. They like people who can be easily swayed. With all that said, do you really think someone on trial considers his or her peers to be twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty?

Mar

Would you want to visit Atlanta after seeing this sign?

By FraudWasteAbuse 43 Comments

Categories: news, life, humor, politics, funny, government, gay, airport, men, Atlanta, pride, homosexual and crossdressing

A couple of years ago, the City of Atlanta decided to launch an advertising campaign. Coined Brand Atlanta, its goal was to promote tourism, promote local pride, and establish an identity for the city. The rationale for starting the promotional campaign was that when people think of Las Vegas they think “gambling,” and when people think of New Orleans they think “Katrina”, er “Mardi Gras”, but nothing comes to mind when people think of Atlanta.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love Atlanta and enjoy living here, but there isn’t anything about the city that gives it an identity. Sure we’ve got the world’s busiest airport and the headquarters of Coca-Cola, but who really cares about that? Now that’s not to say that there’s nothing to see in Atlanta, but nobody is going to visit Atlanta so that they can snap some pictures of the airport.

Anyway, the Brand Atlanta campaign has come up with a few gimmicks to promote the city. These include TV and radio commercials, billboard ads, and a contrived and very lame theme song. I encountered one of these promos while at the Atlanta airport. It was large banner hanging from the ceiling at the train station. I’m trying to figure out what message Atlanta is trying to send. That all men in Atlanta wear skirts?

Mar

Man shows trippy effects of looking in a mirror while using LSD

By FraudWasteAbuse 46 Comments

Categories: life, humor, politics, video, funny, law, legal, drugs, marijuana, trip, mushrooms, weed, pot, LSD, War on Drugs and acid

I’m somewhat of an armchair drug user. That is, I don’t actually do drugs but I enjoy researching them and reading about their effects. I’ve always been somewhat curious of trying marijuana, but it’s not worth the money and I’m not hip enough to know where to buy any even if I really wanted to.

Growing up, I was brainwashed by authority figures and public service announcement into believing that all illegal drugs, especially marijuana and LSD, are bad and will kill you if you use them. I’ve known for some time that marijuana is a relatively harmless drug, however it was only recently that LSD piqued my interest.

I recently had read a story written by a man who was reminiscing on his teenage years when he used to trip on LSD and magic mushrooms. It was interesting to have the perspective of an actual user who thought of his experience as a positive one. The story compelled me to do some research. It seems that unless one is using it every day and multiple times a day, the effects are temporary. It is also similar to marijuana in that it is not addictive and virtually impossible to overdose on the drug.

As an armchair drug user, this knowledge was exactly what I needed. My faux drug cravings needed to be satisfied by a simulated high. So where else could I turn but YouTube. That’s where I came across the short video below.

It seems the creator of this video clip tried to mimic the experience of what it is like to look in a mirror while tripping on LSD. The visuals and sound distortions do a great job of creating a freaky atmosphere. According to some of the comments, it’s as close as one can get to experiencing and understanding the effects of LSD without doing it yourself. Check it out and enjoy your simulated trip!

Mar

The art of internet trolling and capitalizing on gullibility

By FraudWasteAbuse 1 Comment

Categories: internet, humour, life, art, humor, entertainment, funny, weird, satire, offbeat, Usenet, troll, newsgroups and trolling

For about ten years now I have been an avid user and fan of newsgroups. For those of you who don’t know, newsgroups are the original message boards and forums. They are internet forums in their rawest form: decentralized, unregulated, and unmoderated (there are a few exceptions, however). There are hundreds of thousands of newsgroups, although only several thousand of them see regular postings.

While I typically spend most of my time on various political groups, one of my favorite newsgroup pastimes is finding a great troll post. A good troll is a rare work of art. Many try but few succeed. I myself have created a few successful trolls over the years, however I am neither creative nor patient enough to make a regular habit of it.

Over the years I have come across a sizable amount of entertaining trolls; some of which I would like to share with you today. If you consider yourself an emotionally sensitive person or don’t find entertainment in other people’s gullibility, this article is probably not for you.

We have all heard of the person who, after building up trusting relationships within a community, fakes his or her own death and sits back and enjoys the weeping. This particular troll does the opposite. Instead of faking his own death, the troll poses as a dead person and nonchalantly acts as if he had no idea that anyone thought he was dead and had simply been away for a while. What made this troll work was that the deceased was well known among the newsgroup regulars but only one or two of them actually knew him in person. What worked against this troll was that he had already been plaguing this newsgroup for days beforehand, so it was more difficult to catch the regulars off their guard. Most of the fun came to an end when someone who had attended the dead man’s funeral spoke up.

You can read the whole thread here.

Another newsgroup that’s usually ripe for a good troll is alt.suicide.holiday. The group is typically filled with posters moaning about life and talking about killing themselves, although it is questionable as to how many actually go through with it. One enterprising troll decided to pose as a member of a suicide prevention organization. The troll claimed that the posters’ IP addressed had been collected and that their families will soon be informed of their suicidal postings. Watch how several of the posters halfway freak out. With posters with names like NothingToLose, Suicidal Failure, and catchingthebus, the troll was practically guaranteed to succeed.

You can read the whole thread here.

One of my personal favorites was a post to several gardening newsgroup. The troll claimed to have become a vegan and wanted to encouraged like-minded people to come visit her online journal, which she claimed had become somewhat of a community. Unbeknownst to the readers, the link did not lead to her journal, but a vile picture of three very old homosexual men having gay sex. Several poor readers had their eyes burst into flames before someone posted a warning. A more diligent newsgroup regular would have noticed something amiss if he or she had simply noticed that the message had been crossposted to alt.space.monkey.invaders and alt.spacebastards.

You can read the whole thread here.

The last thing I would like to share today is the Anagram Troll. The Anagram Troll is notorious around Usenet for posting absurd, barely on-topic messages to hundreds of newsgroups at a time. Most of these messages are lame, but often one is posted that is quite humorous for its obvious absurdity. Many of the replies to the post are also fun to read as well. Posts with subject lines such as “A gay [blank] raped me” and “[blank] comes into your bed” seem to be a common theme. The Anagram Troll frequently changes his handle, so his posts can be difficult to locate.

An example of his posts can be found here.

The above trolls are just a select few of the myriad of trolling examples where one can be entertained at the expense of another’s gullibility or emotional instability. Quality trolling is an excellent way to release one’s inner creativity and I highly encourage it at every possible opportunity.

Mar

Guess what the Swedish Government body fighting sexual discrimination is called

By FraudWasteAbuse 4 Comments

Categories: news, life, humor, politics, sex, funny, government, Sweden, Europe, offbeat, homosexuality and homosexual

Sweden has an official government department that devotes its resources to fighting discrimination against homosexuals. Can you guess what the name of the department is?

See for yourself.

I’d love to see people’s reactions when Hans Ytterberg hands out his business card.