2007 May archive at FraudWasteAbuse

Archive for May, 2007

May

Advice for young teens

By JSwan 3 Comments

Categories: life, school, education, children, teachers, kids, abuse, parenting, child and teacher

My best friend’s 13 year old sister and I sometimes talk on MySpace. Generally she asks my advice because I like to give her real strategies that she can use immediately.

This advice typically comes in the form of “what I wish I would have said” when I was her age and experiencing similar predicaments. At age 13, it is easy to get frustrated by the inability to articulate what you feel; so I try to give her the words she is lacking.

This is proving surprisingly effective, enabling her to develop her own set of surprisingly effective strategies completely on her own. Over time her emails have shifted to requests for advice to stories of how she has gracefully handled a situation. I’m proud of her.

The following text is by far my single favorite example of our exchanges:

Her: im bored i have like nothing to do cuz i got in trouble and now im grounded!!! lol oops

Me: What’d you do?

Her: i got in trouble at skool from my 1st period teacher cause i had my cell phone out! the teacher said bring ur cell phone over here and give it to me. i said why and shes like dont question me bring it here now!!! so i brang it over there and i layed it in her hand and then she said owww you hurt me im gonna press charges!

she’s always lyng on me!! i went back to my seat and i was talking to my friend and i was telling her how the teacher always lies on me and she must hate me and she wrote a referal saying that i used the f*** word whitch i didnt and she put down that i said that “she f***in hates me” and she saying bad stuff about me,and she wrote a referal that i slamed the phone in her hand and i didnt!!!!

wat do you think about it????? what am I supposed to do if the teachers just gonna lie??? yo my brother doesnt even kno yet!!!! lol but the skool took away my cell phone and the principal said we r allowed to hav a cell at skool if its turned off…… and it was off!!! but they still took it away and they havent gave it back yet!!!………..do you think thats fair?lol

Me: I hope you are not too young for this. Today, I will give you a secret weapon. It is really DANGEROUS if you use it incorrectly - so be careful, and be MATURE about it. Do NOT say these things unless your teacher REALLY is lying; otherwise she will make your life a living hell.

If you do not understand why this secret weapon works: DO NOT USE IT. Just keep this message and re-read it every few months until you do understand why it will work. ONLY THEN should you use it.

Understand?

OK, here’s the secret:

Next time you get into trouble (with a teacher, the police, or anyone in authority) for something you didn’t do, say things like this to them and to their superior (like the principal) when you’re all together and talking about what you’re in trouble for.

You must NOT say these things as if you are angry, or vengeful, or proving a point. You MUST say them as if you are very disappointed, sad, and depressed - as if someone close to you has just died. The key is to be quiet and reserved - never raise your voice, not even a little bit, no matter how angry you are.

Like I said, be careful. Only do this when you know you’re right.

Here is what you can say:

“I come to school to learn. But I feel like what my teacher is really teaching me is that it’s ok to lie if you know that no one will believe the truth. I guess I just have to accept that.”

“I’m telling the truth and she’s not - and I know you will believe her and not me - and I don’t understand why she would do that ’cause I always thought the truth was better. Now I don’t know what to believe… or even who to believe in.”

“I won’t argue. I didn’t do it, my teacher is lying but I know you won’t believe me. Go ahead and punish me. I know I must have done something wrong, but I don’t know what it really was. I wish I did though. I wish someone would tell me. There’s got to be a reason for this.”

“I just feel so sad about this. If I did something wrong, I would apologize for it. But I’m in trouble for something I didn’t do, and you won’t believe me. I don’t know why you won’t believe me, but whatever I’ve done to lose your trust: I apologize. I’m really sorry and I hope you will forgive me.”

“I know kids my age lie, and it’s hard to believe us. I understand that. It’s just… how are we supposed to know any better when our teachers lie too? Aren’t we here to learn from our teachers? I don’t expect you to believe me - but I know my teacher is lying. Go ahead and punish me, I don’t care because I know you believe her and not me. Just PLEASE tell me; what am I supposed to learn from this?”

Feel free to ask questions.

A few weeks went by before she got into trouble again. This time, however, she was prepared. When she went to the Principal’s office with her teacher, she expressed her disillusionment with precision and clarity. When she was finished speaking, she said that her teacher and the principal were quiet for a long time. The principal then asked her to leave the room. Five minutes later, they called her back in. Her teacher admitted to lying and offered her a full, written apology.

She hasn’t been in trouble since.

May

Holidays and the military

By FraudWasteAbuse 19 Comments

Categories: politics

That which I wish to relay to you today concerns, not surprisingly, the military. Specifically, I would like to bring up my annoyance at the constant reminders that we need to “thank those who have fought and are fighting for our freedoms.” (The other annoying and no less dumb line about the military being, “If it wasn’t for the troops we would all be speaking German/Japanese right now.”) I won’t even get into the fact that it is difficult to point to a specific instance in the last 200 years when any military action by the United States government involved defending us from an enemy that actually threatened our traditional freedoms.

The issue I would like to bring forward is the fact that every holiday is now being turned into a thank-the-troops marathon. Memorial Day, Veterans Day, I suppose I can handle those. But Christmas? Independence Day? Please. I’m still waiting for Halloween to be taken over with the constant barrage of “remember those have allowed us to celebrate this pagan holiday of free-loading candy grubbers and vandalism.”

I suppose I am a traitor now. Someone better lock me up.

May

I think I need a new grill

By FraudWasteAbuse 2 Comments

Categories: food

Our house has one of those old built-in natural gas grills. I think they were fairly popular 30 years ago. Well, the other day I came home from work and discovered the grill lying on its side. Apparently decades of corrosion had gotten the best of the thing and the stand had rusted away from the foundation. it was a real bummer because we really like grilling and I really didn’t like the prospect of installing a new one. For some reason, those built in grills are a bit pricey.

Anyway, we decided to go to a grill store and brought home a new built in grill which, I am proud to say, I installed myself. It was actually pretty easy once I figured out how to disconnect the gas line.

May

What is democracy?

By FraudWasteAbuse 4 Comments

Categories: politics

The opposite of despotism. Subjugation of the minority by the majority.

The belief that if the majority of people wants something to get done, then in a good democracy, the government will either recognize this, or be replaced by one that will, and it will be done.

Of course it gets a bit fuzzy from there. Some people associate democracy with freedom, yet freedom is not inherent in any form of government. If 51 percent of the population wanted to enslave the other 49 percent, would that be a good democracy?

Many would say no, that a good democracy is also about fairness and equality. Some go further, and say that good democracy is about elimination of discrimination, affirmative action and ecological harmony. But a democratic government is not a prerequisite to achieving these.

When asked ‘What is democracy?’ most people just list a bunch of political policies which they happen to agree with. Usually also it includes a list of things the government should do for them or give them.

Instead of making decisions ourselves, most democracies elect representatives who make decisions on our behalf. Unfortunately, the people end up electing politicians, who just happen to be the worst people for the job.

May

Aloe vera blueberry drink

By FraudWasteAbuse 8 Comments

Categories: food

Another drink I happened to pick up at the international grocery store was this strange aloe vera juice drink in a can. I didn’t actually think people drank aloe vera juice so I decided to buy a can. I have a odd desire to try strange and things that might turn out to be disgusting and this was too good to pass up.

Anyway, after about two weeks of sitting in the fridge, I decide to drink it. Now not only is this aloe vera juice. It’s blueberry flavored aloe vera juice with aloe vera chunks floating around inside. I found the aloe chunks to be a little interesting. Remember those capsules that you could put in water and they would turn into some sort of sponge animal? Well the chunks look like a cat got a hold of that sponge and then chewed it up and spit it into my glass.

The drink had this sort of smell that reminded me of a lollipop. As for the taste, it was good for about two or three sips and then it was just too sweet. I’m not sure how to describe the flavor but it barely passed for blueberry. Maybe it would have helped a little if the drink was blue. Instead it was this unappetizing orangish yellow color. Since I’ve never eaten/drank aloe before, I have nothing to compare this too. If you like aloe I’d give it a try. I’m sure not going to buy it again.

May

Blackjack: How to count cards

By JSwan 69 Comments

Categories: games, travel, entertainment, vacation and income

Plans are still tentative, however it looks as though some of the characters from FraudWasteAbuse are going to Las Vegas next month. I happen to be an avid blackjack player, so I thought I’d share some the technique I use for counting cards.

Blackjack is one of the few casino games with a memory. A slot machine, for example, does not have a memory - previous plays on a slot machine do not affect future outcomes. In blackjack, on the other hand, once a card is played it cannot be played again for the remainder of the shoe/deck (whichever is being used). This adds a level of predictability to the game.

Of course, remembering every card that gets played is impossible, even on a single deck game. You could use a computer to do the tracking, but that would be cheating (and it’s illegal). Aside from it being impossible, even if you could track the cards in such a way you still couldn’t predict the order of the remaining cards.

The key is identifying the overall favorability of the remaining cards for the player vs. the casino. Generally speaking, high cards (10, Queen, King, and Ace) are good for the player and low cards (2, 3, 4, 5, and 6) are bad for the player. The reason for this is that the dealer must play until 17 is reached, but the player can stay with any value even if it’s less than 17. So if a dealer has a hand valued at 15, and there are more high valued cards than low valued in the shoe, then they are more likely to draw a 10 and bust (so any players still in the game win). On the other hand, if there are a lot of small cards the dealer is more likely to “make” the hand and not bust.

So how can you know if there are more high or low cards in the shoe? You count them. There are several counting methods, but the easiest one is called the “high low” method. The method is simple: Each card has a count value of -1, 0, or +1. For each card dealt, you add the card’s count value to a running total in your head. High cards (10, Queen, King, Ace) have a count value of -1, low cards (2, 3, 4, 5, 6) have a count value of +1, and all the other cards (7, 8, 9) have a count value of 0. If you count all the cards in a deck or shoe this way, the count will be zero.

A deck with a count of zero is considered neutral; the house has a very slight advantage over the player. A deck with a negative count is bad; the house has a more definite advantage over the player. A deck with a positive count is good; the player actually has an edge over the house.

To thwart counters, casinos often use six-deck shoes. This greatly reduces the significance of the count, however it can still be counted. This is where the true count comes in. The true count can be determined by taking the current count and dividing it by the number of decks left in the shoe. For example, a count of 5 with five decks left in the shoe means that there is only a true count of one (5/5=1).

Don’t go running off to Vegas yet, though. Learning to count is only the beginning; you also need to know - and be able to appropriately modify - basic strategy.

Good luck!

May

Soviet cartoons

By FraudWasteAbuse 0 Comments

Categories: television

Nu, Pogodi is likely the most popular cartoon ever made by the Soviet film studio Soyuzmultfilm. The cartoon is sort of a cross between Tom and Jerry and the Coyote/Road Runner series. There isn’t much dialog, but there are a lot of visual representations of life in the Soviet Union, which makes these cartoons especially interesting.

There are two main characters: the wolf and the bunny. The wolf is the more developed character. He spends his time trying to catch the bunny. He rides a motorcycle, smokes, litters, has unkempt hair, and routinely breaks laws. The wolf was supposed to be a caricature of what was considered negative in Soviet life. The bunny is less developed, and is usually portrayed as simply avoiding the wolf’s schemes. Unfortunately, due to the nature of communism, only 20 episodes were produced over a span of around 30 years.

Because there is hardly any spoken dialog, the cartoons are easy to follow. “Nu, Pogodi” means “I’ll get you yet”, or, “just you wait,” and is usually uttered by the wolf at the end of each episode.

Continue reading ‘Soviet cartoons’

May

Hello Boss, Goodbye Starbucks

By FraudWasteAbuse 25 Comments

Categories: food

I love iced coffee. Especially Starbucks Frappuccinos. If it weren’t for the prohibitive price I’d buy them all the time. For an individual 9.5 ounce bottle I’ve seen the price range from $1.50 to $2.99. That’s a bit much to pay for coffee, even if it happens to be delicious. Sorry, Starbucks, but your coffee is way overpriced.

The other day I happened to be browsing through the Japanese section of a local international grocery store. While looking at the various oddities, I noticed some cans of chilled coffee. This struck me as odd, since I usually don’t associate Japan with coffee. I was admittedly intrigued, but what really drew me in was the oddly shaped can and the amusing name of the coffee. “Hello Boss” isn’t exactly a phrase that makes me think “coffee,” but it was exactly the sort of goofy name one would expect to adorn a Japanese product (although I believe the coffee actually comes from Taiwan). I was curious so I decided to buy a can. Each can was only around 70 cents so if I totally hated it I wouldn’t be out too much money.

100_0887

After letting it sit in the fridge for a day, I decided to have a drink. The can was surprisingly hard to open. I had to get out a knife and wedge it under the tab. I think the can may be made out of steel instead of aluminum since I couldn’t crush it like I could a soda can ( or maybe I’m just pathetically weak). As for the drink itself, it was quite good. I’d say it was as good as anything Starbucks sells in a bottle or can.

I only regret that I didn’t buy more of this stuff. There were several other flavors of Hello Boss coffee that I’ll have to try next time I stop by the store. I’m not sure if Hello Boss comes in six packs or twelve packs or whatever, but for 70 cents does it really matter? Not only is Hello Boss cheaper than Starbucks Frappuccino, the cans are 11.5 ounces compared to the 9.5 ounce bottles Starbucks sells.

Just FYI, Hello Boss happens to have a competitor called Mr. Brown. Both brands have almost identical pictures of cartoon bearded men on their cans, and from what I’ve read from people who have tried both, they taste virtually the same. I think that Hello Boss may actually be the ripoff brand, but Hello Boss’s cans are bigger and cost the same as Mr. Brown.

Continue reading ‘Hello Boss, Goodbye Starbucks’